butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
