I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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