we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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