If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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