I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
