In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
