I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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