so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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