wat bout pragnant strippers??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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