So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
