Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
