: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
