Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
