SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
