i would one night stand the shit outta him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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