I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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