I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
