I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
