Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
