big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
