sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
