There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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