WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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