Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i think i have two assholes
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
