Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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