Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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