As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize