chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
