Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
