My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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