And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
