Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
