I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you never un-have a 4some
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
