i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
