So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
