i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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