I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
