Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
