Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
