Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
