Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
