found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
