I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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