Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
