We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
