i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
