God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
