I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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