Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
