She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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