please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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