I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
