Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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