So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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