I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Holy shit dude........stairs
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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