Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
