The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
