quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he quoted the bible to break up with me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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