What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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