your room smells of hookers.
And success
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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