Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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