Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize