Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So much rum. So many feels.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have aggressive nipples.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize