I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
