it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
