Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it's great music for shaving your balls
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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