Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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