At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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